He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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