He asked to "fluff my boner.."
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
