At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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