I don't remember. Are we still dating?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
