Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
