do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
