We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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