is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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