There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
