spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
