can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
