I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize