Do you still have your period?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize