Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
