My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
