You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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