Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
