Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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