Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
