You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
