don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
