ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
