I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
