MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
