considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
