Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
