Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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