White coat. Heels.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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