it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize