What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
