we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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