He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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