I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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