You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
