this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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