Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
