also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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