he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize