Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize