Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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