That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
