think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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