Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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