Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
