All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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