is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
