My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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