Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
