dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
40s are totally the cure
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
