Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
