So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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