I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Banned from zoo.
Again?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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