I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
