I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
