It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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