you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
