So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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