So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
